Misunderstood Soul

I am 31 years old and still have no idea what I am doing with my life. I wonder if it is like that for everyone and if not, where does the drive and ambition come from. I feel as if I live every day just to get by. I have a child to raise, but I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to deal with someone constantly wanting something from me. I don't know how to receive love and feel undeserving of it. How can you give love if you can't even accept it yourself? Life just continues to pass by and occasionally, I wake up and wonder what happened to the last 5 or 10 years. Trying to deal with chronic depression on my own is one of the most difficult tasks that I've had to face over the years. I don't want to be medicated any more than I already am. I'm already constantly stuck in a hazy stupor. I just wish things were easier and I could think more clearly.